I've been on quite the roller coaster of emotions the last couple weeks. At first, I was holding on as tight as I could to that bar in front of me on the roller coaster car I was sitting in, doing everything I possibly could to keep myself grounded and not completely lose control.
After a few days, I let go of the bar in front of me and just threw my hands up in the air. Up or down, this roller coaster is my life, and if I don't enjoy it and move forward, it's just a waste.
Sometimes, we have to lose something we think is good for us, something we think is good in our life, in order to make room for something great to happen. And that is the attitude I am trying to have. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this thing that I thought was so good, was really something that I wouldn't be able to handle at this exact moment in my life.
And that car I'm sitting in on the roller coaster, God is sitting right next to me and is in complete control. He knows each twist and turn, each up and down. I do not need to know they are coming, I do not need to understand them. They have a purpose. My husband is sitting on the other side of me, holding my hand, and I am sandwiched between the most love and strength that could ever exist. In the seats in front of me and behind me are my family and friends. They are right there with me, protecting me, supporting me and guiding me.
How do I know this? I consider myself a pretty self-aware person, and I know that I do not have this kind of strength within myself. I know that it is God's strength flowing through me. I know that my family and friends who are praying for me, and thinking of me, and sending so much love my way, make that strength flow stronger.
I want to write about everything that's going on. I want to share what I'm feeling with other people who are feeling this way, because I know it can feel like a very lonely place to be. But I'm just not comfortable putting it all out there yet. Until then, I'm going to try to get back to writing about every thing else going on in my life, and taking more photos to share with all of you!