Sunday, August 29, 2010

My day in photos

Last night, one of my very favorite people came to visit me! We chatted for hours as baby girl kicked the heck out of her hand. ♥ This morning, we went for an hour and a half long walk, chatting and taking photos along the way. It was exactly what I needed and I'm so glad she came to visit! And despite our chatting, I actually got some good photos!

And she got some beautiful photos of me and my preggo belly! :)

This last one is my favorite that she took today! Love it! Love her! Love my baby girl in there!

Tomorrow? Marathon shopping day with my mom to start my baby registries! :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

Baby Products

I have a fun, action packed weekend ahead of me and I'm really excited!! Tomorrow night after work, I'm picking my best friend up from the train station and we're going to spend the night chatting and catching up. She's staying overnight, and Sunday morning we're going on a walk/photo adventure together! We both love photography so it should be lots of fun, not to mention I may even have some belly pictures that I didn't take of myself!

Sunday night, my mom is coming and we are going to spend the day Monday creating my baby registries! :) And this is where you come in! I'm obviously a first time mom, and my mom hasn't been a first time mom in 27 years. So...

What baby products could you absolutely not live without?

What do you consider a waste of money and space?

I have a list of basic needs, but please share your mommy wisdom with me!

Sunday, August 22, 2010


I am blessed to have this baby girl growing inside me.

I am blessed to have seen her in 3D.

I am blessed with a husband who loves me and this little girl beyond words.

This morning, I was blessed to watch his face light up with joy, pride, excitement and pure love when he felt his baby girl kick for the first time.

I am blessed to have that memory for the rest of my life.

I am blessed.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

It's a...


If you follow me on twitter, you probably already know that, but I hadn't officially blogged it yet!

We had our standard anatomy ultrasound on a Friday. The ultrasound tech didn't say much, so we assumed everything was looking good. Baby had her legs crossed for almost the entire 30 minutes though. The ultrasound tech told us that she got 2 quick peaks and she couldn't be positive, but that she thought it was a girl.

On Monday, I got a call from my doctor. Apparently, the baby had a choroid plexus cyst and an intracardiac echogenic focus. Big, scary words, I know. (I'm not really going to go into explaining them.) Basically, she wanted me to see a specialist for another ultrasound and had taken the liberty of scheduling an appointment for me for Wednesday. She said that they see these 2 things often, but not often together. They can be found on completely normal, healthy babies, or they can be soft markers for Down's Syndrome and Trisomy 18.

I hang up the phone with the doctor and cue the googling of choroid plexus cyst, intracardiac echogenic focus and trisomy 18. Bad, bad idea. Cue tears. Lots and lots of tears. I was pretty much freaking out for a day and a half.

Wednesday I went for my ultrasound with the specialist. It lasted almost an hour and the ultrasound tech and specialist told me everything they were looking at and looking for. They told me the same thing my doctor had, that these things can just disappear on their own, or they can be soft markers. They call them soft markers because they always look for something else with them. All of the baby's measurements were right on or even a few days ahead of my due date. They didn't see any other markers and everything seemed to look perfectly healthy. In addition, the integrated screening I had a few weeks prior gave results that were completely normal. According to the measurements and my bloodwork, the chances of this baby having Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18 were less than 1 in 5000. That is a very low risk.

Of course, knowing all this is reassuring. But the only way to know for sure whether the baby had either of these genetic disorders before birth would be to have an amnio done. My husband and I discussed the amnio for a few days, but ultimately decided against it. The risk of miscarriage with an amnio is 1 in 200. Given all the measurements and bloodwork, and taking into consideration our past losses, that wasn't a risk we were willing to take. The reason to do it would be to relieve the anxiety of not knowing and to prepare if necessary, we would never consider terminating the pregnancy. It seemed selfish to take the risk of miscarrying our child just to ease our minds.

Do we both want to know for sure? Yes, absolutely. But I have just prayed that we are able to go on with this pregnancy and not worry about it either way. When our baby girl is born, the doctors will be prepared for whatever may happen. I have to let go of control and trust that He has a plan. Honestly, the specialist eased my worries quite a bit. She saw absolutely nothing else that even came close to suggesting this baby had a genetic disorder. And she said that these 2 disorders are detected by ultrasound on 90% of babies that have the disorders.

So we don't know for sure, and that is a little nerve-wracking. The plus to all this? I see a few. I was reminded with a swift kick in the rear to have faith, to trust fully. We got to see our baby girl in 3D - absolutely amazing! And she is definitely A GIRL! We are so very excited and can't wait to experience the world again through her eyes. Genetic disorder or not, she is the biggest blessing in our lives. I couldn't be more grateful.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Battle with the Bathroom Scale

When I was younger, I was really overweight. No, I'm not exaggerating. Really overweight. (April can I get some verification of this fact for everyone else please?) Anyway, sometime around 8th and 9th grade I lost the weight. I became more active, and taught myself about nutrition and moderation. I taught myself not to use food as an emotional crutch, but as a way to nourish my body. I focused more on how my body felt and how my clothes fit, than a number on the scale. And I was able to keep the weight off. The was no yo-yo battle with weight like a lot of people talk about, it was a lifestyle change for me. Even in college, I never gained any weight. I think I actually lost a few pounds. But again, I never got on a scale. I had no desire to and gauged my weight on how my body felt and looked physically, and how my clothes fit.

Enter pregnancy. The emotional demons of being overweight are coming back to haunt me. Now before you go into your comments of "You're supposed to gain weight." and "You're growing a child." hear me out please. (Yes, I know that punctuation was incorrect. No, I'm not going back to fix it.)

I couldn't be happier to be able to grow this baby inside me. I have no problems with my body image. I think my growing belly is actually attractive and suits my body well. My husband thinks my belly is overwhelmingly sexy, so the fact that I hear it from him every day is a huge boost to my confidence. My normal clothes obviously don't fit. I have no problem with that. I know my body won't be the same after the baby is born, but I also know I'll lose the weight and get back to some kind of normal.

My problem is the scale. After years of never even thinking about stepping on that damn thing, I now feel like I have to get on it every morning. And that number going up every day upsets me. That's it, just the number. It's all psychological, I know. I really don't care about the number given the circumstances. It's just seeing it. It takes me back to a place when I wasn't happy with my body image.

I don't eat any differently. I nourish my body and my baby with healthy, wholesome foods. I indulge my cravings in moderation just as I have over the years. The amount of food I eat hasn't even changed much. With the addition of a protein bar for a snack between lunch and dinner, the foods and proportions of those foods that I am eating are exactly the same. I know that it is baby, and blood, and my boobs etc. that are adding the weight, and not food. I just can't stand seeing that number.

It is a battle for me. I try to convince myself every morning not to get on the scale, but I always fail. I'm not eating less or exercising more to do anything about the number, I wouldn't even think of it. I know it's going up for a very good reason. But still that number upsets me.

I'm seriously considering asking my husband to hide the scale, but then I'll see the number at the doctor's office, so what's the point in that. So if you have any tips on convincing this insecure child inside of me that isn't thinking logically about pregnancy to ignore that silly number, I would greatly appreciate them.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Quick Update

Well, as it turns out, I predicted correctly and our child is just as stubborn as its parents! Baby had its legs crossed almost the entire 30 minutes of my ultrasound today! The ultrasound tech said she got 2 quick looks and thought it was a girl, but couldn't be positive.

She didn't say much else. Took a lot of measurements and everything seemed to look good! Heartbeat was strong. She said they'll go over everything with us at my next appointment, which is August 23rd.

Don't know if they'll give me another ultrasound or not, but I will definitely be asking about it at my next appointment. If not, I may just pay to have a private scan and find out. There's a place in Boston that does 3D ultrasounds, but also offers a 2D gender prediction ultrasound for only $69.

What's most important is that the baby seems healthy, and that's all that really matters to us. Right now? I'm tired and have a killer headache, so I'm going to lay down.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Boy or girl???

In less than 48 hours we get to see our little bambino again.

In less than 48 hours we'll (hopefully) know whether that little bambino is a boy or a girl.

In less than 48 hours I'll pretty much be on cloud nine. :)

Neither of us really cares if it's a boy or a girl, but my hubby thinks it's a boy and my instinct is telling me it's a girl. Just about everyone else I know thinks it's a girl too. Below is a belly comparison from 7 weeks and today at 18 weeks. So what do you think? Boy or girl??

(Please refrain from commenting on my cottage cheese thighs. Thank you kindly!)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

There are good people in this world

Last night, I was talking to my sister on the phone as she drove home from work. We were mid-conversation when all of a sudden she said, "Hold on a second." A man who had been driving behind her pulled up beside her and motioned for her to roll down her window. She did and he simply said, "Thank you so much for your sacrifice."

She has a bumper sticker on the back of her car that reads, "Half my heart is in Iraq." The number of people who see that bumper sticker in any given day is great. But this man took 20 seconds to acknowledge not just her husband's sacrifice serving in Iraq, but her sacrifice.

I hung up the phone with her and this man had me in tears. Yes, I'm a little hormonal, but there are good people in this world still. That is so incredibly reassuring. Being pregnant, one of the things I think about often is the world we are bringing this child into. It's certainly not the same place I grew up in. Honestly, it's a scary time we live in and I worry about how difficult it will be for our child to navigate this world. But people like my sister, and her husband, and this random man reassure me.

So thank you, random man, for restoring my faith that there are good people in this world.