Dear Tufts...

Thank you for your letter reminding me that my health insurance is past due. See the thing is though, I would have gladly paid it on time, as I do every month, if I had ever received a bill in the first place. Your kind customer service representative assured me that I must have received it. Let me assure you, I did not.

You might think that I have the due dates and amounts of all my bills memorized, but let me assure you again, I do not. There are simply too many bills to pay. I would walk around depressed every day if I had to do that. You have now received your payment, out of my own pocket because my employer pays none of it. Next month, please actually send me a bill. I will gladly pay it on time and we can avoid this conversation.

Sincerely,
Irritated and broke