Audrey is less than 2 months away from turning 3, and we're already in the 3 year old stage. When people told me 3 was harder than 2, I didn't believe them. Now, I'm a believer. Let's just say that for me this is far from the most enjoyable age we've experienced as of yet. After a difficult few days, I'm feeling like some parenting confessions might cleanse my soul a little bit. So here goes!
- I let my daughter watch way more television than I ever thought I would.
- I am the perfect reflection of calm, cool and collective parenting when we are out in public; however, when we're home and the defiance and screaming seems to never cease no matter what I do or say, I yell. Sometimes I yell a lot.
- I am much less patient than I ever thought I was.
- I care too much about what other people think of me as a mom. Sometimes I find myself judging myself like someone else might be judging me, even if they aren't saying anything to me at all.
- I cried the first day I left her at preschool, but I actually find it a relief to have a couple hours to myself when I drop her off now.
- I temporarily hide books and movies we've read and watched 7 gazillion times because I think I will become certifiably insane if I have to endure them again.
- I have laughed at how adorable my daughter is, even when she is in tears from the photo shoot I'm putting her through.
- I spend so much time planning activities and events and trying to make them perfect and memorable that I sometimes forget to let it all go and just have fun with her. She will remember and appreciate my words and hugs and doing things with her, more than the perfectly planned birthday party or the photo books I tell myself I'm doing for her.
Phew! That was cleansing! I will not let my weaknesses make me feel bad about myself though. I make my daughter's Halloween costumes from scratch and plan elaborate Pinterest inspired birthday parties. I photograph every moment possible. I cook wholesome, healthy homemade meals and snacks. I'm a stay-home-mom. These are my strengths, but I am not "Super Mom." I don't think I am and I don't try to be. She doesn't exist.
I don't judge you if you buy your child's Halloween costume at Walmart, throw together a birthday party last minute, choose to be in the moment instead of photographing it, order take-out every night or work 40 hours a week. {Are you judging yourself? I know I sure do.} I admire you. For the things that are your strengths, are my weaknesses. I admire your ability to let go of the illusion of perfection, to enjoy the moment and be spontaneous, your courage to entrust your child's care to someone else in order to pursue your dreams, your ability to read that book for the 8 gazillionth time!
We all have strengths and weaknesses. The sooner we admit them to ourselves, the sooner we will stop judging ourselves and others, and accept that different doesn't mean bad. I still have a journey ahead of me in that department I think. But today's confessions felt like a good start.
So...does anyone else out there care to cleanse their parenting soul and admit your weaknesses??
2 comments :
Guilty! I've done many of the same things as you :) I call it..."Sanity Saving Practices." They are lucky they are cute, right?!
:) oh yes. I can add every single one of these things to my own mommy confessions! I'm a yeller too and Colton pushes me to my limit almost on a daily basis. I just keep praying the closer he gets to four the better his behavior will be. My fingers are crossed!
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