Harvest

Last harvest from our garden until next year!

Looking for new blogs to read!

I just cleaned out my Google Reader lists and can't believe how many of the bloggers I used to follow have stopped blogging. I used to have time to comment on blogs and find new blogs to read. But then I had Audrey and I got in a routine of only commenting on blogs that I already read or blogs of people who commented on my blog. As I've tried to get back into blogging and commenting more, I've noticed that my reader list is mostly craft and photography blogs and not blogs about people's lives.

So I'm asking for help! Please share your favorite blogs to read. If you're reading my blog, but don't comment and think I might not be reading your blog in return, please let me know! I want to start forming those connections again. I want to be inspired by what you're writing, so that I begin to write more myself.

Ready, set, share!

anam cara

On September 1st of this year, my uncle married a really wonderful woman. Her name is Linda. Linda is so incredibly sweet and I adore her. She has the kindest heart, but she has had a lot of heartbreak in her life as well. In 2007, Linda lost her son, Jason. He was only 20 years old.

My uncle and Linda had a beautiful wedding. We celebrated with a handful of people in their home. It was simple and heartfelt and perfect. After the ceremony, we had cupcakes and chatted and the kids ran around playing. Linda loves Audrey and we got talking about being a mom. She told me how she likes to talk about Jason because it keeps him alive in her heart. She also told me about the tattoo she has in memory of him, that includes the phrase anam cara. When she explained anam cara to me, I started to cry. This is exactly how I feel about Audrey. She is my anam cara.

For their honeymoon, my uncle and Linda spent two weeks in Scotland! (Completely jealous over here, by the way!) They must have stopped by today while we were at the grocery store because there were gifts here waiting for us when we got home. Waiting for me was Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O'Donohue and the sweetest handwritten note from Linda.

I immediately opened it up and started reading. I'm going to share a few passages from the book now to explain anam cara. As it did when Linda first explained it to me, the book made me cry and perfectly described what I feel Audrey is to me, though I had never thought of it that way myself.

In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world was the "soul friend." In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara.

O'Donohue continues,

In everyone's life, there is great need for an anam cara. In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person's soul. 

A little later, he states,

In Celtic tradition, the anam cara was not merely a metaphor or ideal. It was a soul-bond that existed as a recognized and admired social construct. It altered the meaning of identity and perception. When your affection is kindled, the world of your intellect takes on a new tenderness and compassion. The anam cara brings epistemological integration and healing. You look and see and understand differently...it gradually refines your sensibilities and transforms your way of being in the world.

I find it overwhelming how deeply this spoke to me. In our culture, the idea of a "soul mate" almost always refers to a spouse and a romantic love. I love that anam cara refers to a connection of understanding and guidance, and of someone who changes the way we see the world.

I don't think all mothers find their anam cara in their children. Some people may find their anam cara in a spouse or friend, in a teacher, parent or clergy member. Unfortunately, and as O'Donohue suggests, most people may not realize who their anam cara is until it is too late. This is the case for Linda. She didn't truly acknowledge Jason as her anam cara until after he passed. But the idea of anam cara brings her great comfort when she thinks of him now.

Linda may not be my anam cara, but I feel a deep connection to her because we both recognize our children as our own anam cara. I am incredibly grateful to her for sharing with me this beautiful Celtic "understanding of love and friendship."

I may not be Audrey's anam cara, that will be for her to determine and discover, but she is certainly mine. In her short time here with me, she has brought me healing and an understanding of myself. She has opened my eyes to a completely new way of viewing the world. Every single day, she teaches me and guides me. She has transformed who I am. And with her, I feel more myself than with anyone else.

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, falling from the autumn tree."

I love fall! Here in New England, the foliage is incredibly gorgeous, and every year I am in awe of and grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. There are also so many fun things to do this time of year! Apple picking and a trip to the pumpkin patch were at the top of our list, and we had a blast!

 

books & nostalgia

Every year, our public library has a book sale fundraiser. You can get some amazing steals on every kind of book you can imagine, so we make sure we get there for it! Audrey and I love to read, and this year, we made out like bandits! We got 6 books for Audrey, 3 books for my nephew, Blake, and 6 books for me, all for just $9!!

And the best part: we found A Treasury of Santa Mouse by Michael Brown! Do you remember this book? My God, Santa Mouse was one of my favorites as a little girl! And there are two other Santa Mouse stories in this treasury that I had never even read before. I swear Audrey thought I was crazy when I found it because I was so excited!

I couldn't wait to get home and read it to Audrey! And when we opened it up...it smelled like the library! Do you know the smell I'm talking about? You probably think I'm crazy just like Audrey did, but I just love that smell and it makes me feel all nostalgic! 

Tutu Photos 2012

I just realized this morning that I posted a teaser of the tutu photos I took of Audrey, but I didn't actually post any of the photos, besides the ones in my new header. So here are some of my favorites!

I Clicked it Up a Notch - September 2012

I feel like I really "clicked it up a notch" in September. I took so many photos of Audrey that I just loved, including the tutu photos and wedding dress photos! I don't know if this is the very best photo I took this past month, but it is definitely my favorite. I absolutely love watching my husband and daughter together. It makes my heart swell with love and gratitude.