Enter pregnancy. The emotional demons of being overweight are coming back to haunt me. Now before you go into your comments of "You're supposed to gain weight." and "You're growing a child." hear me out please. (Yes, I know that punctuation was incorrect. No, I'm not going back to fix it.)
I couldn't be happier to be able to grow this baby inside me. I have no problems with my body image. I think my growing belly is actually attractive and suits my body well. My husband thinks my belly is overwhelmingly sexy, so the fact that I hear it from him every day is a huge boost to my confidence. My normal clothes obviously don't fit. I have no problem with that. I know my body won't be the same after the baby is born, but I also know I'll lose the weight and get back to some kind of normal.
My problem is the scale. After years of never even thinking about stepping on that damn thing, I now feel like I have to get on it every morning. And that number going up every day upsets me. That's it, just the number. It's all psychological, I know. I really don't care about the number given the circumstances. It's just seeing it. It takes me back to a place when I wasn't happy with my body image.
I don't eat any differently. I nourish my body and my baby with healthy, wholesome foods. I indulge my cravings in moderation just as I have over the years. The amount of food I eat hasn't even changed much. With the addition of a protein bar for a snack between lunch and dinner, the foods and proportions of those foods that I am eating are exactly the same. I know that it is baby, and blood, and my boobs etc. that are adding the weight, and not food. I just can't stand seeing that number.
It is a battle for me. I try to convince myself every morning not to get on the scale, but I always fail. I'm not eating less or exercising more to do anything about the number, I wouldn't even think of it. I know it's going up for a very good reason. But still that number upsets me.
I'm seriously considering asking my husband to hide the scale, but then I'll see the number at the doctor's office, so what's the point in that. So if you have any tips on convincing this insecure child inside of me that isn't thinking logically about pregnancy to ignore that silly number, I would greatly appreciate them.