2014 Goals

I shared already how 2013 was a year of personal growth for me. And I know we're into February already, but I also have some goals for 2014. In an attempt to get them written down and hold myself accountable, I'm going to share them here today.

1. Expand My Yoga Practice
Building on the last year, my first goal is to expand my yoga practice and to challenge myself more. I love the Sunday morning Hatha class that I go to and I will never give it up, but I've decided to add a more challenging class to my week as well. I have started taking a Slow Flow class on Thursday nights. Slow Flow is a class kind of between a Hatha and a Vinyasa class. It is more challenging and a faster pace, but not quite as challenging as a Vinyasa class.

This class is a workout! It also has a completely different feel than the Hatha class I take. A year ago, I probably wouldn't have gone back for a second class. But the challenge and opportunity to push myself excites me now. So I dropped my expectations, adjusted my attitude, and opened up my heart and mind to what this instructor and class can offer me.

2. Let Go
One of my favorites Bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I believe with all of my heart that God has a plan for me. This verse has brought me indescribable comfort in very difficult times. But despite that, and despite wanting to let go of control, I never fully put my problems in God's hands.

We are only a month and a half into 2014, and it has already been a trying year for me. But somehow, something clicked in my heart and in my mind. I have let go. I have not put my problems in God's hands, but I have finally realized that they are already there. I'll say that again: they are already there! What a revelation! I don't have to do anything. He has a plan and He has control. All I have to do is let go and trust in Him and what I already believe. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that sometimes we have to feel pain and struggle in order to learn and grow. I have let go of what other people think or may think of me. It doesn't matter. What they think might be the truth and it might not. But it doesn't matter. Because I am not living my life for them.

I can't tell you how liberating this has been for me. Habit pokes at me to try to control things still, but I am resisting and I hope to continue to.

3. "Live More From Intention And Less From Habit"
I read this somewhere, hence the quotes, but I didn't write it down and I can't remember where. Forgive me! But it really resonated within me. I am most definitely a creature of habit. But I have discovered over the last year that when I step outside my comfort zone and take a leap of faith, I am more often than not pleasantly surprised with what I am capable of. So I am consciously reminding myself daily to "live from intention." And that reminder seems to lessen the fear of the unknown.

4. "Inspire, Don't Demand"
Here I go again, not writing things down. But even though I can't remember where it came from, I haven't been able to forget those three words. I am really trying to take this to heart in my parenting. I'm human, and I get frustrated just like everyone does. When I get frustrated, I tend to demand things in my parenting instead of inspiring or teaching like I intend to.

So when I start to get frustrated, I tell myself, "Live more from intention, Sara. Inspire. Don't demand." I'm not perfect. And this is one of my goals I will need to put the most effort into. But I know it will be worth it, not only for Audrey, but for me as well.

Those are my four main goals. I also have goals financially and for my marriage. In the past, I would have felt overwhelmed by these goals. I would have failed before I even began. But I have released myself from the burden of potential failure. I will fail at some things. But great rewards require great risk. And if I don't even try, I have failed already.

I am incredibly grateful to be in this place emotionally. I have tried for years to force myself here, but I wasn't ready. Finally, I have let go. It was a conscious decision and at the same time it wasn't. And the pieces just fell into place. I am expecting big things from myself this year, but there is no pressure. Even the tiniest step forward is progress.

Meet Tinky

World, meet Tinky.

He's Audrey's best friend. He goes almost everywhere with her. This morning he had to take his first spin in the washing machine. It was just time. There was quite a bit of nervousness and watching him through the window from both Audrey and Mommy.

When he came out of the dryer, Audrey kissed and hugged him and said, "Thank you for being so brave, Tinky!"

Now that he's clean and dry, she's glad to have him back and Mommy's glad he came out okay and I didn't have to secretly bring out the backup Tinky that I have hiding in the closet!

Happy New Year!

Yes, I know we're almost two weeks into the new year, but Happy New Year!!

A little over a year ago, I was reflecting on 2012 and I felt lost. Every ounce of energy I had went into taking care of my daughter and my husband. I love them and I love caring for them, but somewhere along the way, my identity became taking care of them and I was disappointed to find that my needs had gotten buried beneath theirs. I noticed myself becoming less patient and more and more exhausted. My marriage felt strained. I wasn’t the person I wanted my daughter to know me as.

I don’t usually make resolutions, but for 2013, I decided that I had to take better care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had to make myself a priority. I kept it that broad and left myself open to whatever may help me fulfill that resolution.

Exactly one year ago today, I decided to take a yoga class. Those who know me best know that I don’t handle change easily. I like my routines. Doing something new, even something like going to a yoga class I’ve never been to, by myself, gives me anxiety. But that Sunday morning, I got up and I dragged myself to that class.

I didn’t know what to expect. There were more people there than I expected and I felt awkward at first. But I tried to remind myself to stay in the moment, to take this time to focus on myself. Not the people I love, not the strangers in the room, just me.

The instructor started that class, as she always does, by asking us to set an intention for our practice that day. I immediately started thinking about other people in my life, and their problems, and how my energy might help them, but then I caught myself. I had to do this for myself. I almost started to cry right then and there. I finally decided on three simple words: peace, balance and strength. After a moment, she asked us to focus on our breath, and I did.

Since that day, that intention has remained the same for me every single time I have practiced. It has almost become a mantra for me. And while I am still working on these things for myself, I have found something even more important through my practice, something I didn’t even realize I needed at the time. Healing.

Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Meditation is not meant to help us avoid problems or run away from difficulties. It is meant to allow positive healing to take place. To meditate is to learn how to stop – to stop being carried away by our regrets about the past, our anger or despair in the present, or our worries about the future.” Yoga and meditation have allowed me to do this.

The instructor closed that first class I went to, as she always does, by thanking us for practicing yoga with her, and acknowledging the light within us all.

And there it was. That was exactly what my resolution for 2013 was, to rejuvenate and reignite that light within me. And I felt more confident about my resolution in that moment than when I committed to it. I felt like this instructor and this class and my practice of yoga would be the things that guided me through this year and brought me back to myself. And they have.

And so 2013 has been a journey of the self for me. I am finding peace and balance and strength. I am finding healing. I am finding confidence and doing things I never imagined being able to do. But most importantly, I am finding me again. I am able to give more of myself to the people I love because I am more whole and connected.

I never liked change, but it turns out Socrates was right in saying that, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

I do have some goals for 2014. I think I'll save that for another post, but my journey of the self and my practice of yoga definitely continues. For today and the year ahead, I wish for all of you what I found in 2013: a year of self-awareness and discovery, a year of health and happiness, a year of mental and physical strength, and a year of peace - peace in your heart, peace in your mind and peace in the world around you.

Under the Sea Mermaid 3rd Birthday Party

Audrey turned 3 on the 28th, but we had her party the week before, on the 21st. With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it was just easier to have her party before Christmas.

When I asked her, Audrey said she wanted a mermaid party! I loved the idea, so I ran with a mermaid/ under the sea theme! If you saw my posts about her first and second birthdays, you know I go a little theme crazy! But I do it because I want her to have a special day that is just about her and not about Christmas.

So the first thing I did was design the invitations and get them out in the mail!

For the decorations, I tried to make it feel like we were under water.

I hung curling ribbon from the light fixtures, fans and archway, and made paper lantern jellyfish!

Next, I did the table decor.

I twisted green streamers and taped them to the wall to look like seaweed. I also had pretty blue vases leftover from my sister's first baby shower that I put sparkly branches in. They were probably meant to be winter decor, but I thought they looked like sparkly seaweed. Then I put out strings of iridescent beads and some under the sea confetti.

You can also see the favors for the kids in the above collage. Everyone got their own under the sea activity placement and some ocean stickers. The girls also got pearl mermaid necklaces that I made and the boys got either a whale or a shark toy.

And of course there were balloons!

There were balloon bunches and a fishing net filled with balloons to try to cover up some of the Christmas decorations.

For the food, I stuck tight to the theme as well.

We had Veggies and Octo-dip, Goldfish, Seaweed (spinach) Dip with Crispy Seaweed (vegetable tortilla) Chips, Seashells & Cheese, and Submarine Sandwiches (tuna, egg and chicken salad).

And then, of course, there was dessert!!

I made Sand Dollar Sugar Cookies, as well as making and decorating the cake and cupcakes.

Overall, it was a really fun afternoon! I think all the kids had fun playing together and the cupcakes disappeared in the blink of an eye!

Audrey made a wish, opened lots of presents, and was then surprised with her new bike from Mommy and Daddy!

To give credit where credit is due:

I found the clip art for the invitation just by searching for free clipart on Google.

I found the paper lantern jellyfish tutorial on Party City's website.

A lot of my inspiration for both the food and decorations came from Pinterest.

I printed out the cake decorations and attached them to string and straws, but again, the mermaid was clipart I found searching on Google.

Audrey's 3rd Birthday Interview

So, Audrey turned three yesterday. She is growing and changing so quickly and as much as I try to record all the milestones, I feel like little things will and are slipping away. So I decided to start doing yearly birthday interviews. I write her letters, but that is my perspective. I asked Audrey 10 questions yesterday. I plan to ask her the same questions every year on her birthday and think it will be fun to look back on and compare. So without further ado, here is her interview.

Audrey Ann-Marie

3 years old

December 28, 2013

1) What is your favorite color? Purple
2) What is your favorite food? Tacos (She is referring to Mommy's turkey tacos.)
3) What do you want to be when you grow up? An artist
4) Who is your best friend? Mommy!
5) What is your favorite book? Pete the Cat
6) What is your favorite movie? Rapunzel (Tangled)
7) What are you really good at? Singing
8) What is your favorite thing to do? Yoga with Mommy
9) What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate-cake-ice cream-candy (This sounded like all one word when she said it.)
10) What makes you the happiest? Dancing, and reading, and hugging and kissing, and Mommy and Daddy and my whole family!

Audrey - 3 years

Audrey,

You are officially three today! With you, every day is an adventure, and this past year has certainly been full of excitement!

We started off the year with potty training and you exceeded our expectations with your willingness and ability to quickly adapt.

You transitioned from a crib, to a toddler bed, and then quickly to a queen size bed and FINALLY started sleeping through the night (for the most part!)

We visited art galleries and made plenty of our own art!

And we, of course, had our share of photo shoots!

We played in the sunshine, in the sand, in the rain, in the leaves, and in the snow.

You had your first pedicure and made lots of wishes.

You started pre-school and you're having so much fun learning and making new friends.

You gave up officially napping, but often fall asleep right in the middle of your very busy life. And we're done with binkies for good!

You love tacos, carrots, lining things up, singing, dancing, your stuffed panda Tinky, nutcrackers, babies, helping Mommy sew, reading, puppets, playing dress up, and chocolate, just to name a few. You are full of fire and passion and determination. You have a strong will, know what you want and when you want it. But you love your family and Jesus and you are polite and kind to others.

I can't believe you're three, baby! You challenge me and surprise me and fill me heart with joy every single day. You are my wildest dream come true. And though you test me and frustrate me and challenge me more than ever, I continue to learn and grow in your presence.

I love you more than I could ever say in words, sweet girl!

Love Always,
Mommy

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours!