I now have a beautiful daughter that I thank God for every single day, but I also have babies in heaven that are forever a part of everything I do. If you have read my blog for a while, you know about my losses. For me, the raw and often times debilitating emotions that I once experienced are not a part of my daily life anymore. My faith tells me that my babies are in Heaven, and I have found my peace. But that does not mean that when I think back on that dark time in my life that those emotions don't come flooding back.
I feel fortunate to have found healing. But many people struggle for years with the depression, raw, deep and ugly sadness, numbness, "Why me?"s and "What did I do wrong?"s. For others, their loss is a fresh, new wound threatening to tear back open at any moment.
Part of this day of remembrance is the tradition of lighting a candle from 7 pm to 8 pm on October 15th. Done in every time zone, this will create a continuous wave of light across the entire world in remembrance of all babies lost. I will be lighting my candle tonight to remember my own babies in Heaven, and sending love and prayers to anyone suffering through this horrible, crippling, painful time. It is something that never leaves you, but with time, prayer and the sharing of our experiences does come healing. ♥