Wednesday, May 2, 2012

L L F M D: Marriage isn't easy!

4. Marriage isn't easy!

If I teach you anything, my sweet girl, this is one of the most important things I want you to learn. Love - true love - is wonderful. It makes you feel happy and safe and confident. But love is not all you need. Marriage - all relationships, really - take work. We are all (hopefully) growing and evolving and learning constantly as individuals. In a relationship, you have to also learn how to grow together as you evolve as individuals.

When Dada and I started dating, we were in high school. We were married at 24. Individually, and as a couple, we are much different now than we were at either of those points in our lives. But the marriage vows we swore to one another have not changed. "For better or for worse." "In sickness and in health." They are not just words. We have experienced them. There are days when we might not like each other all that much. But we always love each other. So we continue to work on our marriage. We will for the rest of our lives. It involves communication, but also a lot of self-reflection. It involves working on yourself and your own flaws and weaknesses. It involves taking care of yourself, so you can give your best to your partner; but it also involves taking care of them physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

Love is important, but it is not all you need. Sacrifice. Trust. Honesty. Fidelity. Loyalty. Communication. Growth. They are equally important.

Marriage is far from easy, sweetheart. It is a lot of work. But if you truly love someone, it is worth it.


Jamie said...

Amazing Advice!

Sonya said...

this is beautiful and I am so glad that you are sharing this with her. There are so many things that aren't talked about enough and sticking it out through the tough times is one of them! Too many people in our society these days are so quick to jump from marriage to marriage thinking the grass is greener.

Sara said...

i couldn't agree more, sonya! the grass is greener where you water it!