Love is a decision

Oprah yesterday was on the economy, people losing their jobs, and how these two things are negatively affecting marriages. If you read my post yesterday, you know I was having a rough day and, as a result, I was interested to watch this. Just as a warning, I'm going to ramble about marriage and my marriage now! I really mean ramble too. I'm not going to go back and proof read. I'm just going to write how I feel because that is the most therapeutic for me, and frankly, I need that right now.

I met my husband at 14 years old. I fell in love with him at 17 and we married each other at 24. A lot of people think this is too young, that you should live your own life, travel and establish a career before you get married. I honestly think this was the best path for us. I do not think it was a mistake, I know it was meant to be this way. We fell in love before we had any real material possessions, before we had real responsibilities, before we were expected to be adults. And now, I feel our love transcends all these things. We by no means have to perfect life. We are human. But I know that even on the hardest of days, he is waiting there to lift me up. I look in his eyes and I can see how deep his love is for me.

The couples on Oprah's show yesterday were contemplating divorce. Divorce is not an option for me. (I am not judging anyone else. Every situation is different and this is just my opinion and my outlook on my marriage.) No matter what obstacles we face, I know that he is my partner. I cannot turn against him because together we are stronger than we are individually. On our wedding day, I made a commitment to him, a commitment to God, a commitment to all of our family and friends, and a commitment to myself. That commitment is not something I take lightly. Just recently, during my sister's wedding ceremony, the deacon asked everyone a question. He asked, "What is love?" At the end, he told us, "Love is a decision." And it is a decision! Every morning, we have to decide to love each other. Despite all the obstacles, we have to decide to love each other.

Some people may say, "Oh that's easy for you to say, you don't own a house and you don't have any children." But I don't believe that. My parents own a house and had 2 children and they made that decision every single day. I've been so blessed with the examples of marriage I have in my life. My parents will be married 28 years in June. My mother's parents have been married 51 years! And those are just 2 examples! My whole life I have observed the marriages of the people I love. I have seen them make the decision to love each other in both the good times and the very difficult times. What a blessing this is! Going into our marriage, I knew that it was not going to be a fairy tale, that it would be hard work and that I would have to decide to love my husband every day. There was never the illusion of anything else. This outlook has saved our marriage and has saved us a lot of stress, and I believe it will continue to throughout our lives together.

For me, there is no other option. So, every single day, no matter how I'm feeling, no matter what the obstacles I face, or even if I like him that day, I decide to love my husband. Just a month or so ago, we were both laid off. We were unemployed and terrified, but we leaned on each other and decided to continue to love each other no matter what obstacles we would face. I believe that there is already a very special plan in place for us. We are not in control of it. I also believe that God would not place an obstacle in our way that we could not handle. He knows us better than we know ourselves. There is always a reason for the difficult times, just as there is a reason for the good times.

We would never truly appreciate the good times and our blessings if we didn't have the struggles too. During this difficult time in my life, my husband has made it extremely easy for me to decide to love him. I'm afraid I haven't made it as easy on him, and yet, every morning he wakes up and decides to love me. He is my rock. He is all I need here on Earth.

Phewww! Two serious posts in a row! I think this calls for a photo to lighten things up!

This is me and my husband at my sister's wedding on January 31st. It was taken by an amazing photographer (and friend of mine) named Carolyn Beaudreau, who just took some photos of my new niece, brother-in-law and sister-in-law also. If you want, you can check out a few sneak peaks of this photo session that she put up on her blog!